ADHD avoidance is rarely intentional or rooted in laziness - Rather, it reflects deeper struggles that we often face with our symptoms.
Some ADHDers unconsciously use procrastination to create urgency, which can provide the dopamine boost needed to take action. Avoidance, in this case, is about delaying until that sense of urgency kicks in.
We often find ourselves waiting for that "right headspace" which we know tends to happen few and far between.
Task Procrastination
ADHD’s executive dysfunction inhibits our abilities to transition into starting a task, leaving us in a state of inaction.
On top of this, our motivation is low when we're low on dopamine. Boring tasks are nearly impossible for a dopamine deficient brain.
We need to be receiving a baseline level of dopamine to even begin a task that doesn’t provide it, so we end up avoiding mundane tasks.
Planning Difficulties
Tasks that feel too big, unclear, or complex can cause mental paralysis.
Struggles with planning, organizing, or prioritizing tasks can make starting feel impossible, leading to avoidance.
ADHDers often struggle to decide what’s most important, leading to a fear of committing to the “wrong” choice and avoiding decisions altogether.
Emotional Dysregulation
Emotions feel more intense and difficult to calm with ADHD so we often avoid situations that cause negative ones.
We can miss out on opportunities and connections because of this!
Avoidance acts as a temporary relief from the emotional discomfort associated with a task. This method quickly compounds the stress on tasks that are important and especially ones that are time sensitive.
Fear of Failure and Perfectionism
These mindsets can stop us in our tracks when it comes to tasks or relationships - even situations we're excited about.
They cause us to fear committing to anything because we fear making the wrong choice.
So instead... We do nothing (Except stress).
Many ADHDers experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria where we are extra sensitive to criticism or rejection - real or perceived. For example, we might feel foolish or abandoned when someone we love doesn't respond or uses a different tone.
This can lead to us hastily jumping ship in relationships.
What Can We Do About ADHD Avoidance?
For Procrastination & Planning:
1st try to identify WHY you're struggling to start. If you can't find a reason, you might be low on dopamine. Maybe it's...
Overwhelm from too many steps
Can’t visualize the end result
Fear it’ll take too long
Past embarrassment or it touches an anxiety
Now, reach into your toolbox...
Start with a task that is doable to start momentum
Promise yourself a reward for completing it by X time
Ask a friend/hire a coach to help you start, plan, and stay accountable
Break it down and focus on completing one. step. at. a. time.
For Emotions & Perfectionism:
Find a grounding method that works for you and use it BEFORE trying to start the task
Remind your body that you are NOT in physical danger and this will NOT ruin your life
Adopt the mindset that mistakes are normal opportunities to learn and grow
Better manage your ADHD life with my # 1 Best Selling 2-in-1 book/workbook:
All my Best,
Coach Brooke
