ADHDers tend to be susceptible to narcissists who utilize love bombing to lure us in. It might work well because we can unintentionally love bomb other people! (Typically without the manipulative intentions)
It's like a love language of ours to share our big emotions so it doesn’t seem disingenuous from someone else until it’s too late.
What Can Love Bombing Look Like?
Rushing/skipping steps in a developing relationship (Talking about marriage, moving in, etc)
Frequent texting throughout the day
Frequently buying them gifts
Sending them gifts when you're apart
Being extra affectionate
Constantly going out of your way to do things for them
Disregarding responsibilities and commitments to spend as much time with them as possible
Frequent grandiose acts of love
Frequent talks of commitment
ADHD passion is strong. Especially for novelty like an exciting new relationship. So we tend to love on a BIG scale. We often love to get creative, give a helping hand, and show our passion.
All of this can come off as love bombing, especially when the novel newness of a budding romance wears off as we settle into a long-term relationship and suddenly we don't celebrate month-iversaries or get them spontaneous gifts.
Our partners can feel confused when our ADHD symptoms start to show in their place like forgetting dates we may have remembered before or spending more time diving into our hyperfixations instead of with them.
On top of this, relationships that we put so much effort into can come crashing down when we realize that we aren't as good of a fit as we thought behind the rose tinted glasses of our infatuation.
If you're an ADHDer that experiences love bombing or tends to love bomb, consider the following...
AM I BEING LOVE BOMBED? It’s easy to get caught up in excitement and let things move quickly, but remember that real love respects boundaries and takes time. Manipulators don’t respect boundaries and don’t waste time on developing a true relationship.
FROM LOVE BOMBING TO LONG-TERM As we settle into a relationship, our partner might notice a drop in our displays of affection and conflicts may begin to arise. It’s important to communicate how both partners wish to continue to feel loved and cared for as the relationship develops!
Improve your relationships by learning management strategies for ADHD brains with one of our customized services! Let us show you how
Lots of Love,
Coach Brooke
