It's said that 20% of people you meet won't like you and it's almost always not your fault and out of your control.
The way ADHDers vs neurotypicals interact can be an influence on both parties feelings as we can tend to be more expressive & aware of others emotions.
With ADHD, it‘s important for us to remember how RSD can skew our perceptions of peoples intentions or feelings towards us.
RSD or rejection sensitive dysphoria is "Characterized by extreme emotional sensitivity to being criticized or rejected, whether real or perceived rejection." -Steven Gans, MD
We can experience RSD because of:
Pattern recognition in relationships that have ended
People pleasing
Frequent rejection or abandonment feelings from parents or peers
All or nothing thinking: If they're not over the top nice, they must hate me
Past experiences with being bullied
RSD signs to look out for:
Avoiding talking to them or about the situation
Assuming they'll reject before I actually get an answer
Feeling like there's no way I could do well
Making far-fetched assumptions from how I know they normally act
Can't think about anything else but how embarrassing the situation is
Thoughts are overwhelmed with emotions
Finding peace with being disliked is HUGE for our RSD and imposter syndrome once we can finally break free from the anxiety of striving for perfect approval from people who's opinions we don't truly care about.
If you have ADHD and struggle with being disliked, consider the following...
Remember that you could be the sweetest peach on the tree but there's people out there who just don't like peaches.
It's seriously them, not you. Someone who is so quick to judge and look down on others is either unaware of others emotions as a result of their actions, or very hurt and traumatized themselves.
You should not and realistically cannot change yourself to make EVERYONE like you. It’s not your job to change peoples' minds.
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You're alright ;)
Coach Brooke
