Unfortunately, neurodivergents are very often taken advantage of. People tend to have a subconscious radar for our different brains.
We ADHDers often have low self esteem and may people please to feel valid. We often believe that we have to bend over backwards to maintain our value and ensure people like us.
We love connection and pleasing others so we're often quick to give our boundless love and trust. Manipulators have a keen eye for people who give a lot. So our caring nature and eagerness to please makes us prime targets for gaslighting, scams, and exploitation.
ADHDers may be taken advantage of for...
Money
Empathy
Labor
Our bodies
...and more
Sometimes we may not realize that we were conned until later on. We might feel like we can’t accept our mistakes or move on from past times we were scammed so we may still dwell on it and beat ourselves up for years after.
After so many times of being taken advantage of, we're sensitive to manipulation and rejection and we can get stuck in a mindset that we begin to see it in situations it is not. (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria)
RSD can seriously damage our true relationships and cause us to pull away when we begin to perceive rejection. A clear sign is being more sensitive to comments we may have understood as jokes before.
There is often the social expectation to be outwardly friendly. With ADHD and our extra care to mask our symptoms, we can take the friendliness to the extreme at our own detriment.
If you're an ADHDer who's tired of being taken advantage of, consider the following...
"LET ME GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT:" People may try to catch you off guard and create a sense of urgency to prompt a quick "Yes". Always give yourself space to process before agreeing to anything!
BEFORE YOU SAY YES, SAY...
"I need to check my calendar first."
"I have other commitments."
"I have to get back to you on that."
"I'm a visual learner, let's discuss this in writing."
FINDING PEACE WITH MISTAKES: You did what you thought you had to do to get through the situation with the knowledge you had in that moment. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and don‘t convince yourself that you‘re “easy to manipulate“.
IT'S NATURAL INSTINCTS: The next time you're dwelling on the past, remember that it's just your body's way of protecting you from future "predators". Remind yourself that you are safe in this moment and have more knowledge now than you did before.
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All my Best,
Coach Brooke
