Most ADHDers have had the shared experience of being told that we are "oversharing".
One of the biggest symptoms for ADHD is a struggle with controlling impulsivity. So in conversations, we might interrupt and blurt out information.
It's easy for this to happen when we're really enthusiastic about a subject or it has strong emotional ties. If a topic comes up that we have a lot of knowledge on, we may begin to excitedly info dump.
Info dumping is exactly as it sounds: When we blurt out a large amount of information. This typically happens on a topic we're passionate about or when we're excited because we know a lot about it and want to share.
It's a way neurodivergents tend to connect and share excitement but unfortunately many neurotypicals don't feel the same way.
We can get carried away when we get excited and share more personal details than we intended. Then the gravity of what we revealed doesn't always register right away. We might think about it for years after and continue to beat ourselves up so we don't make the same social "mistake" again.
ADHDers sometimes express empathy by sharing our own related experience. But neurotypicals usually do not interact in this way and may think that we are selfishly stealing the spotlight. It can cause a lot of misunderstandings and frustration for both parties.
If you're an ADHDer that is tired of being told you're oversharing, consider the following...
THE ABILITY TO THINK BEFORE YOU SEND Written communication can give us the opportunity to review our statements. Before we hit send, we can try to get in the habit of re-reading our message and considering who will be viewing our words.
DON'T FILL THE SILENCE This can be really difficult and feel like an eternity... But we can try to practice pausing instead of filling the silence to avoid TMI moments. You may find the other person sharing more about themselves first, leaving room for you to comfortably do the same.
KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE Try to save your best stories, jokes, and tidbits for people who will fully appreciate and share your excitement like friends and loved ones.
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All my Best,
Coach Brooke